Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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ure mama's so fat

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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