What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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