Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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call me maybe.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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