How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

thumb_up thumb_down -23

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops