What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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sadf

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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I love alchohol!

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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