What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops