One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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