Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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