Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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