roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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