When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Women's rights.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Horse.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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