A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops