A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Corn Muffins

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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