Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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