Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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