Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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