What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops