Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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9/11 my birthday

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One, two, three, four and five

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Fat? Jesse Z

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Women.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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