A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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