Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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