A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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I asked her where you were.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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