what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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knock knock Goodbye

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a man makes a bad joke

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops