What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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