Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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