Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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