Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops