whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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