Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What is the Modern Day slave trade? The nba

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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