Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

21

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops