#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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