what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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