- Anti Joke

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

Leave. Now.

A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.