would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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roses are red poo is poo

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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swag

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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