How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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outside your comfort zone

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Tunechi

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops