Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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