A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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