A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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kathryn atkins

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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