Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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