- Anti Joke

Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

yolo your orange looks orange

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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