patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the zebra cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yesterday, I was assasinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An orphan falls off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops