An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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Penis

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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