An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops