What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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