Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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people magazine

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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