How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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