So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock No solicitors

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If the 49ers won the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops