A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

Okay.

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

How do you make a man cry? you torture him

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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