Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

Immigration Laws

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

A black person dies.

Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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