1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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