The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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womens rights.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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