What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Nobody cares maddie!

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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black chicken. kfc

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops