What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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Guest what in the butt

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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