Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops