What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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