What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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