A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Tall asians

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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