A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -21

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops